Bam Margera knows what everyone is thinking.
After suffering an injury while skateboarding in early March, fans feared the Jackass star would relapse and return to his old ways. “I don’t have the best track record,” he tells Us in an exclusive interview.
He’s not wrong: In the first half of 2023 alone, Margera, 44, was arrested twice, lost custody of his 6-year-old son, Phoenix, and endured a 5150 psychiatric hold, which led many to believe he was stuck in a self-destructive cycle.
Last June, Margera was at his wit’s end and bought a cocktail of drugs to end his life. However, fate intervened: He woke up and crossed paths with his now-fiancée, Dannii Marie.
“When you hear the term ‘rock bottom,’ you usually picture somebody out on the street with no money and nowhere to go. Well, rock bottom for a millionaire is very hard to define, but [when we met] I was in [multiple] lawsuits and pulling my hair out during a never-ending custody battle,” he explains. “I was ready to check out — and she saved me.”
With Dannii by his side, he kicked his addiction by detoxing at a friend’s home in August.
Today, he’s eight months sober. “I was a mess at times, but I’ve changed my ways and could not be on more of the right path,” Margera tells Us. “If anybody out there thinks they’re doomed, it’s too late, and there’s no help or hope, think again.”
Here, the Viva La Bam alum comes clean about hitting rock bottom and finding his way back.
What have you learned about yourself since getting sober?
The party was over a long time ago. When Jackass and Viva La Bam happened, I was selling 20,000 skateboards a month and did a commercial for a million dollars for one day’s work. [When] I was 30, I didn’t want to be famous anymore, and just planned on spending all my money drinking. I just lost my passion for everything. And then, at one point, before you know it, you just get so lost and you don’t even know what’s important anymore.
Now, I have a structured schedule: Dannii and I wake up, walk the dogs and I find a skate spot. We go to the gym, eat healthy, then I come home and read a book or paint. And that’s exactly what I need because I know that if I have an hour to kill and I use that time on drinking, then all bets are off. … It’s been since August [since I last drank], I haven’t felt this good since I’ve been 20.
What do you think was the root of your problems?
Having a lot of money and not knowing what to do with it. My face is recognizable, so anywhere I go, I’d get free drinks and free drugs, if I was looking for it. [Also], losing my passion for skateboarding — not having passion for anything, really — and boredom. The hair of the dog situation, too: If you wake up feeling like shit from drinking, you know that if you have a beer, you’re going to feel better. The cycle always repeats, and to break that cycle, is very hard to do.
In December, both Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville praised you for being 125 days sober. Have you reached out to them and made amends?
Well, I’ve always been friends with Steve-O, but right now, I don’t really like having a phone just because I want to concentrate on my sobriety and skateboarding and just get back to loving life again with no interruptions. When the time comes, I’ll see everybody.
But to be honest, what Knoxville and [director] Jeff Tremaine did to me, I don’t think I could ever forgive. They ruined the legacy of Jackass. … I’ve broken every bone in my body, [gotten] 16 staples in the head, the list goes on — but to be betrayed by [the] Jackass [team], stabbed in the back and abandoned … was the worst feeling ever. [Margera dismissed his wrongful termination lawsuit against Knoxville, Tremaine and Paramount in April 2022 after reaching a private settlement.]
Would you ever be open to collaborating with them professionally again?
No, it’s done. It’s absolutely done. There’s no more Jackass, as far as I’m concerned. It’s been ruined.
What can you tell Us about your son, Phoenix?
I care about him more than anything in the world. [The supervised visitation] is heartbreaking, and I hope it gets fixed soon because I’m missing him grow up. Another reason [I got sober] was because I want my son to be proud of me. I don’t want him to hear that his dad has been a f–kup who could never sort it out. I got better for him, as well.
What would it take for you to reconcile with your parents and brother?
Time.
What advice would you give someone struggling with substance abuse?
You have to change your environment and your friends, and you have to fully commit. You can’t say, “It’s my birthday; I’ll have one drink.” You might have one, but the next day, it’s going to be two and then three. If you don’t change it all, you will fall back into it, I guarantee you.
What’s your response to critics who think you’ll fall back into bad habits?
I don’t really care what they think. All that I know is that I’m not drinking. I don’t want to drink. Everyone’s like, ‘Are you scared you might relapse?’ No, I’m not scared. How come? Because I don’t feel like it anymore. It’s as simple as that: I don’t f–king feel like it. It’s simply not worth it. And I don’t plan on going back to it — I do not miss the hangovers.
What is the proudest moment of your career?
All of it. As soon as I discovered what a skateboard was, I knew that’s what I was going to do. I only had a plan A, and I wasn’t going to stop until I got it. I ran out of goals because any goal I set, [I achieved]. I wanted to be on the cover of Thrasher. Got it. I wanted to be a pro skateboarder. Got it. I wanted to be in Tony Hawk’s video game. Got it. [I] sold over a million copies of CKY 1, then I did CKY2K and got discovered by Jackass. Everything just worked out so beautifully, that honestly, one day I ran out of wishes.
How’s your relationship with Dannii?
She’s my rock. We spend all day, every day, together. If we argue, it’s because she doesn’t want to see me f–k up, so having a relapse is out of the question. She wants to bring me up as high as I can go [and be] a success story. I’m back on top, skating better than I ever have, and it’s all because she’s such a good influence on me.
